.. touched by an angel

click image for original size.







.. something i cooked up earlier today. All images and writings are of original creation, if any has intention to use or post this on another site, please ask for permission and i will allow it as long as it is not related to porn or sites with controversial materials.



PS : angel, looking forward to seeing you again !

.. still life

This still life is all I ever do
There by the window quietly killed for you
In the glass house my insect life
Crawling the walls under electric lights
I'll go into the night into the night
She and I into the night

Is this still life all I'm good for too?
There by the window quietly killed for you
And they drive by like insects do
They think they don't know me
They hired a car for you

To go into the night, into the night
She and I into the night

And this still life is all I ever do
There by the window quietly killed for you
And this still life is all I ever do
But it's still, still life
But it's still, still life
But it's still, still life

~~Suede~~
~Dog Man Star~

Note: One of my all time favorites from Suede, try to understand the real meaning behind the song .. ahhh .. so symbolic

.. common people

She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
that's where I,
caught her eye.
She told me that her Dad was loaded,
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
She said "Fine."
and in thirty seconds time she said,

"I want to live like common people,
I want to do whatever common people do,
I want to sleep with common people,
I want to sleep with common people,
like you."

Well what else could I do -
I said "I'll see what I can do."
I took her to a supermarket,
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere,
so it started there.
I said pretend you've got no money,
she just laughed and said,
"Oh you're so funny."
I said "yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here.
Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people,
like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.
Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.

You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.

Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.

I want to live with common people,
I want to live with common people etc...

~~Pulp~~
~Different Class~

Note : I just love it when "story telling" is involved in music ..

.. music is said to be the speech of angels

.. finally, another long awaited update that i had planned for my blog. I've added a music stream, which would at the same time highlight creations by artists which i hold high in praise. Some of the uploaded contents would be accompanied by lyrics under music tags, usually those which had been masterfully crafted.

.. navigation is easy, under the end of each song, you would find artist name and album, just find the song in the MediaMaster widget to the right and press play! It might take some time to load, that is why i place the widget way down bottom.

.. also, you are not allowed to download these musics, i would only put up streams for albums that i own myself. Please support original !

.. the living dead

If I was the wife of an acrobat...
Could of had it all...Could of had it all...

Where's all the money gone? - I'm talking to you,
All up the whole in your arm,
is the needle a much better screw?
But oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go.
Where is this life of fun that you promised me?
Nothing here works but your works and I mean it
I have to leave
But oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go.
If I was the wife of an acrobat would I look like the living dead, boy?
You're on the wire and can't get back,Let's talk about the living dead
Could have had a car, could have had it all,
Could have walked in the sky but we stare at the wall.
I know where the money's gone - I know what you do
Cos I've seen the hole in your arm and the needle's a much better screw
but oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go..

~~Suede~~
~Sci-Fi Lullabies (1 of 2)~

Note : The wife of an acrobat ? Who else would've thought of these stuffs but Suede.

.. tears, idle tears

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

~Author unknown~

.. friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief

.. it was a great outing last night. A small gathering, nevertheless an interesting bunch of more than 30 turned up, born from a tool named facebook that is used by people with bad memories to remember names of their friends and spam the same friends with useless applications (.. well not all).

.. created back in September last year, this group aptly named Expats in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), with a group of 250+ members strong, attracted me when i first came to Vietnam, being a community which binds expats like me together, sharing a common goal, familiarizing ourselves with the intricacies of foreign cultures and laws. We began with introductions of ourselves I was placed in a position quite difficult as i was sitted right in the middle of a very long table arrangement. Stuttered a bit and was more like talking to myself as its difficult to maintain eye contact with anyone .. 15+ on my left and the remaining 15+ on my right .. left right left right .. zz. Confusion and disarray !! How could i even claim myself to be a good sales person dealing with the multi million AV industry after this experience ?

.. things got slightly under control later as i moved about trying to remember names and strike up conversations. There might be some that i missed out, but that is what facebook is for, to further develop the relationship that is hanging on a fine thread just because you have bad memories.

.. the day got better as i developed a bad throat from talking too much. LOL .. not better because of the bad throat, but better after i moved to the pool table when the soreness heated up. Met up with the owner of the restaurant which we gathered in, which happens to be a good friend of my director. He introduced me to another regular of his which plays Snooker! And both of them would introduce me to another friend which plays professional snooker .. looks like i could have my regular practices again soon.

.. this post might sound boring as this is not my preferred style of writing. Usually the boring stuffs i would just label it as news, for the benefit of those who would just want to ignore it totally. It is nonetheless important to me as it signifies small achievements that will change my life as an expat one way or another.

.. till the next post, ciao

.. what we call results are beginnings

.. as you all can see, there is a slight change to my blog. There is an addition of my own banner, which i would change from time to time as showcase of my passion for digital art. I'm starting with something simple first, as I'm just too stressed from the amount of paper works i had done and compiled earlier today. There is also an addition of a footer below, which would double up as my email link, to those who would want to contact me personally.

.. it is a small step, but the changes i made today are results which i had been putting on hold for quite some time now. Aside from the addition of the images, i have also made adjustments on the default html template to cater to my own needs, getting rid of limitations and unnecessary items. Took me quite some time to recall my html coding lessons, but i am more than satisfied with what i had achieved. Slowly, i would personalize this to my likings.

.. won't go on to much here, since most likely i am going to label this news.

.. petty updates but definitely an important beginning for me.

.. reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol

.. time just breezes through for me in Vietnam, without realizing it, i have already spent 17 days in Saigon, working and exploring my new found life in an alien country. Maybe that is just reality. When you keep your mind distracted, things just float by, without the need for ourselves to have a second thought for it at all. Today, i would provide a peek into the night life of Vietnam. Whatever that i might write below, would strictly be my personal ramblings, and might not be entirely true. There are a lot of restrictions around in this country, and i would try my very best not to cross that.

.. as most of you would have known by now, fags and booze in Vietnam is dirt cheap. The local beers here costs the same as a can of coke, and buying a carton of fags here would be the equivalent of buying a single pack in Singapore. Perhaps, that is why alcohol is so widely abused in this country, leaving that to be the only form of entertainment for the "adult" world here. Membership with gyms and clubs are expensive, as i have learnt as i go around looking for one. These establishments prey on expats like me, as of so many other "posh" setups. I guess, the search continues for me, hoping to get this all sorted out by next week as my muscles is just dying to be stretched again (jogged up and down 9 storeys today !). Regardless the price i need to pay, it has to happen, as i don't fancy going out for alcohol that often.

.. i am not the type that believes relationships could be built through alcohol. How often would conversations be taken seriously when you are in a heightened state of intoxication? But, here is where all havoc breaks loose for me. It seems, almost every business contacts that i meet so far is from a glass of drink! Look at the picture above, 3 bottles of Johnie Walker Black Label lined up nicely, and we managed to finish it in a period of 2 hours, with people whom i never met at all, in a club with loud thumping music and people packed to the brim. Its not even possible to talk to anyone at all, with the thumps and bumps, but somehow i ended up having stacks of name cards with me, and people inviting me for lunch or coffee weeks after that madness.

.. somehow, it seems that this unknown force is keeping everything together, feeding on this illusion that keeps everything so vibrant yet mad from abuse of alcohol. Business relation or friendships could be built or torn apart through alcohol .. somehow, it is still something that baffles me. I just can't seem to understand what fun there is to derive from getting highly intoxicated? It is a common sight here in Vietnam, all nightspots that has alcohol would be filled with locals and expats alike. I am not condemning anyone, everyone has their own way and method of entertainment (but it seems like in Vietnam, a lot more likes alcohol), and definitely it has high potential to built a strong business network.

.. this illusion of reality created by most when they are lack of alcohol, would pull them down so hard, searing off that small part of them that was given freedom everytime they are intoxicated, leaving them yearning more and more of it, thus feeding and nurturing this nocturnal beast that hunts for a prey named alcohol every night.

.. i have not "entertained" anyone for quite sometime now, setting appointments during the wee hours of the morning, for lunch, and afternoon teas. Dinners would mostly be cooked at home, unless i am out with friends. I am mildly surprised, as things still worked out well as i make progress in projects i am concentrated on, albeit a bit slower compared to a night out with lots of alcohol.

.. maybe sometimes, the beast needs to be let out to feed just to keep things interesting if else fails.

.. sometimes, it is just best to treat reality as an illusion.

.. part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like, and let the food fight it out inside - Mark Twain

.. i am officially into the second month of living my life as an expat in Vietnam, and i think this would be due time for another confession, but of course on a much happier note compared to the earlier one. Starting a new life here was easy, i have even managed to sort out most of my groceries myself without much confusion, though majority of the items displayed on the shelfs are purely in Vietnamese. Managed to also sort out almost everything in regards to the apartment i have rented, with a landlord who does not speak English that well.

.. well, leaving that aside, with me being able to rest easier now and concentrate on my work, it dawned to me that i actually miss something so dearly back in Malaysia, that i would want to use my return ticket immediately. Many would have guessed immediately with a glimpse at the title that it involves food, but to me, its much more than that.


.. a picture always says a thousand words, and i went through lengths to compile these pictures, having being so ignorant about it when i was back in Malaysia, and having none of it here with me in Vietnam. For those who does not know, that is a "Mamak". Mamak could refer to the person itself, or the business he is in .. call it a culture, but this post would have a full dedication to something truly Malaysian, something i missed so much.

.. the word Mamak is derived from the Tamil term for maternal uncle, or 'maa-ma'. In Malaysia (and i think in many parts of asian countries as well), we all grew up being taught of respecting people older than us as "uncle" or "auntie", be it a shopkeeper, or the bus driver, or even total strangers. Probably, from there, it has evolved into a term so widely used by all Malaysian, in respect to the different owners of these small establishments of "fast food" chain, that had provided us a comfortable and universal menu, with a network of stalls that dotted Malaysia much better than all the cellphone network providers combined. Who else deserved better to be called "uncle" than them .. The mamaks!

.. mamaks serves cheap and good food. It is also a melting pot of cultural symphony and unity, with patrons from all walks of life, young and old, of different races, mingling together .. to gossip or just catch a game of football on a projected screen. Most of the time it is open air, with stalls being easily set up on any open areas with high population density, setting up plastic tables and chairs on car parks, walkways of shops, and even on the roads. Most of them are open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year.


.. irregardless of the owner, almost all mamak stalls in Malaysia offers a standard menu. Some might have "improved" their selections, by adding western food, or satay, but basically .. almost everyone has these listed below (really depends on the setup budget and owner, and customer requests) ..

* Roti Canai (Chennai bread)
* Roti Telur
* Teh Tarik
* Half-Boiled Eggs
* Goat Milk
* Murtabak
* Thosai
* Chapati
* Nasi Kandar
* Nasi Briyani
* Nasi Lemak
* Maggi Goreng
* Mee Goreng (Fried noodles)
* IndoMie Mi Goreng
* Pasembur
* Mamak Rojak
* Sup Kambing
* Sup Ayam
* Roti Tissue
* Roti Bakar
* Roti Bom
* Murtabak
* Roti Naan & Tandoori Chicken
* Poori

.. but these are the usual ones, where all Malaysians would know by heart.


.. pictured above is the holy grail of all drinks being served at a mamak. Aptly named "teh tarik" or "pulled tea" translated. It is strong tea powder, mixed with sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk, then, "dragged" from one mug to another, in a juggling and acrobatic act that is honed through years of practice, cooling the tea to a perfect temperature that you can drink straight out of, once it arrives at your table. A cup of teh tarik makes or breaks a mamak.

.. i have developed a strange liking for this culture. As a sales person, a mamak is chosen as a regular meeting place. Being operated 24 hours, the hygienes are not in the cleanest state, but acceptable enough not to give you a bad case of food poisoning. Mamaks had been a place where i seal sales deals that amounts to hundreds of thousands, in a very casual way and environment.


.. being in Vietnam for more than a month already, i am dying for a cup of teh tarik and roti canai at times of my sleepless and hungry nights, and early morning breakfasts. I have also lost a venue for business meetings or a place to just hang out and catch up with friends. There is a lot i could leave behind in Malaysia, but the absence of mamak, hits me the worst.

.. mamaks indirectly helped shaped me into what i am today, a place where i get to know friends better and close deals, or just a place to hang out and think. Without mamaks, i probably would not have sealed those few deals, or even land myself a position in the companies that i worked at before.

.. true enough, being a Malaysian, a true Malaysian, the mamak culture is something that you will not ever forget.

.. mamaks is my secret of success in life, and i'll let my stomach decide later even if it does not agree to me that much.



Disclaimer : These are purely my own ramblings, i still support posh places like Starbuck, Coffee Bean or even "Kopi Tiams", but not so as often as Mamak's. They have a much wider network that covers Malaysia, easily accessible with lots of parking spaces available. I was not forced or bribed by any Mamak's in the writing of this post.

.. i want to live !

with the blood slowly trickling away
i waited for the countdown to end
i waited for the final bell to ring
for the eternal escape

a wretched life i once lived
a life that no one should have
a life that is not my choice

a life that is not my choice
yet i played the lead role in it
a role that was played to perfection from my end

now at a time when the final curtain is very close to being drawn
i want to rewrite the whole story once again

a story that is full of happiness
a story that is so full of joy
a story that i only lived in my dreams

a dream that i want to make a reality
a reality of a dream coming true
a story, once re-enacted
will fulfill my desires
will fulfill my destiny

a story that i so desperately want to write
will now remain uncompleted
the countdown has already begun
the countdown from life to death

with the blood slowly trickling away
and the story still incomplete
and the clock slowly ticking away
i want to live
i want to live, once again
i want to live, once again
to rewrite the story
the story that is my life!

Author - Unknown

.. without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend

.. how much could you be a friend to anyone? And how would you be able to call anyone your friend? How would you ever draw that line that borders the limitations ?

.. having one friend is too much, two are many, and three is hardly possible. How many of you would actually agree to this? The definition of friends is lost altogether as our commitments grew, and as our age matures. We we're so innocent once in our younger years, everyone is a good friend. We go out in packs, sharing every single thoughts and emotions. But all would be almost lost as we pursue our own interests, chasing dreams and life goals, leaving behind nothing but memories of our younger years, and not friendship that holds strong.

.. having friends is where you be what you are, but how often would you be able to do that once you step into the competitive working "adult" world, in short reality and survival. At one point of your life, the basic survival instincts would take over, causing us to be more selfish, and making friends are only for beneficial means. We wear a mask, for each and every different friend, fitting ourselves into their world, manipulating them for our own gains.

.. a lot might not agree to this, and what i said is purely my own views. I have been meeting people all over the place, and as sales, i really need to get into their heads to maneuver them into profitable gains. To do that, i would have to be someone else, a mask worn without being conscious of it, referring my self as a "friend", totally losing myself, not being able to be what i want to be, or used to be.

.. it has been such a daily routine to me, i do not get much chance to just let go and be myself. There is a few that i am able to share with and open up, but to what extent would they be able to share the same with me ? Where would be the line be drawn by them ?

.. i have been trying to follow a path which leads me to a mental attitude that makes me feel deeply and vitally alive, which i am able to say to myself everyday,

" .. this is the real me."

.. but to what extent?

.. would i be able to stay true to that path,
and still be able to survive the competition?

.. my day out as a tourist in Saigon

.. well, i walked 7 kilometers yesterday and here are some pictures taken, just like a typical tourist, most of it, you can find through search engines, but i still put it up for those who are lazy.





.. notre dame cathedral, no vietnamese version of the hunchback spotted because the church was not open, had to try on a Sunday. It was built between 1877 and 1883, with two 40 meter towers topped with iron spires, in neo-Romanesque form, red bricks and colored glass windows all imported from France.






.. Saigon Post Office .. a very old post office, built between 1886 and 1891, it has a glass canopy, ceiling fans, and two gargantuan wall maps of "Saigon et Ses Environs". At the very far end of the arched building .. is Uncle Ho Chi Minh. I was held in awe when i walked in, stood right in the middle of the huge entrance and stared, pissing some French tourist who wanted to take a picture .. and i can almost swear Uncle Ho was smirking at my foolishness.




.. The Saigon Opera House or Ho Chi Minh Municipal Theater, the building was originally built by the French to host Opera shows. In 1955 it was transformed into the South Vietnam's Assembly House. After the nation's reunification the building remained unused. Not long ago it was refurbished. It currently hosts vietnamese theatre and traditional music shows. Would definitely go in one day .. well .. once i can understand Vietnamese.


.. one of the many statues scattered all over the city, i took a picture of it, because it was just too tiring for me after 3 kilometers, and i was seated on a bench with some ladies from Vietnam Airlines nearby, trying to communicate with them using sign language, on how to go to Ben Thanh market, i failed miserably, leaving them giggling and me sweating in shame.


.. well, i made my way there, to Ben Thanh market, which was built in 1913, and is the largest market in the city, French-styled of course, with a distinctive clock tower right at its entrance. I turned away immediately, because it was too humid and cramped, and the peddlers would run at you and grab your arm trying to get you to buy. Look at how the girl is dashing towards me ..


.. i walked back to Diamond Plaza, sat down at a coffee shop of Starbuck equivalent, aptly named Higlands coffee under a canopy shading me from the hot sun, just watching people and time past. The heat became unbearable, and just so happen, Narnia premiered, with Prince Caspian's poster staring right down at me from a huge cylindrical billboard next to the coffee shop.


.. with the tickets bought, i strut into the cinema guided by someone with a torch light, with the movie already started for 5 minutes, found my seat, and muttered "SHIT" so loud almost everyone could hear me. I bought the wrong tickets !! It was the dubbed Vietnamese version, with only a single female voice for all characters. How much more awkward could it be !!?? Good thing they let me change the ticket into the English version which was shown later.

.. i ended the day, tracking my journey on a virtual map on my phone, which came to a count of 7.3 kilometers walked. There is still a lot to be explored, and a lot more landmarks to visit .. the tunnels (you get to fire AK47's and M16's !!), the Mekong delta, temples .. and all this is in Saigon, there is still Hue (central Vietnam) .. and also not to forget a promise i made in one of my earlier posts .. Ha Long Bay.